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PUA Texting: How To Engage Women

I was recently browsing a Seddit thread when I came across a question about PUA texting. What I learned is that, even in 2014, men still fear texting+. It makes sense, all that amazing connection you had in person is now limited to littles 0’s and 1’s flying into her smartphone. To say text is a limited medium would be an understatement. To say it would be a game killer is rationalizing your lack of understanding.

Really text isn’t about getting her to like you, you should have accomplished that before you parted ways when you met*. In this article I’m going to explain why we use text game, what it’s purpose is and give you examples of texts you can use to revive a dying conversation.

Let’s talk about how to text women & keep them engaged.

The Three Elements To Solid Text Game

Before we even get to texting, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the three elements to get the best possible results. These are:

  • Sexual Tension
  • Connection
  • Appreciation & Acknowledgement (Qualification)

These are the pillars to having her want to keep the interaction going, with the sexual tension exciting her, the connection making it deeper than surface attraction and you demonstrating higher value by focusing on who she is, not how she looks.

Mastering these is beyond the scope of this article, but I guarantee if you aren’t getting texts back then you’re out of alignment in one of these three areas.

Timing & Frequency

Timing is extremely important in our modern age, wait too long and you’re forgotten about. Get in peoples faces and no one wants anything to do with you. The hotter a girl, the more things she’s got going on. You need to get straight into her life and become a fixture of it fast.

Text the next day, waiting three days is for those who are too needy. Your subsequent texts can match the speed of her texts, this is an easy rule to make sure you’re calibrated. If you and her are texting back and forth frequently then you can call her and break away from texting to set up a date.

How Much & Dead Air

Many guys get stuck in the more is better paradigm. When we are texting, we should aim for quality content over quantity. Texting too much makes you too available, it diminishes scarcity. Instead consider removing yourself from texting on a high point and leave her hanging for a few hours. You just got busy and had stuff to do other than text her.

Make yourself valuable and scarce and she will want to hang out with you just so she can get your attention. That is a powerful position for you to be in.


Truly this is where most men slip up, we need to avoid boring conversation and keep it emotionally engaging, we talked about taking care of the three main elements before getting the number earlier. If you did then all you need to do is keep her emotionally engaged. Her emotions tied to your meeting fade without that emotional engagement. It’s the same for all of us, over time we retain memories, but the feelings go away and women trust their feelings.

The quickest way to start a conversation is to tease her, accuse her of something silly, tell her she’s buying you dinner to prove that chivalry isn’t dead. The tease doesn’t matter, all that matters is how engaging it is and that emotional stimulation is the conversational lubricant.

Once you understand that you can switch between teasing, being sexual and messing with her HARD. The larger the range of emotions she feels, the more compelling you become. This can be a scary process if you don’t know what you are doing. Sometimes I have to fight for my students to be awesome because they worry so much about blowing it:

Dave: Text her: “I just met your twin”

Student: She responded with… “Haha no way, where were you?”

Dave: Nice. Tell her, “That’d be telling, also I’m pretty sure you’re the evil one.”

Student: She hasn’t texted back yet.

Dave: That’s OK, just wait.

Student: OK, she just texted “Shh don’t tell anyone.”

Dave: Lol. Good response on her part.

Student: Yeah… What’s my next move sensei

Dave: Thinking on it

Dave: I’m thinking “You know, it’s probably because your last boyfriend didn’t spank you hard enough.”

Student: I say that?!

Student She will think all I want to do is sleep with her though.

Dave: Yup, we want to see how she will respond to sexual texts. It’s a good indicator of where she is at.

Dave: To be fair, you do.

Student: No, I’m looking for a girlfriend.

Dave: Ah, should have explained. The more you like a girl the faster you should sleep with her.

Student: Lol.

Student: OK, she responded with: “Oh really? I’ve found I respond better with rewards rather than punishment.”


Student: Can I still ask her if we are getting Pad Thai tonight?

Dave: No!

Dave: Give her a call

Dave: Charm her

Dave: Then invite her out

Student: Call her?!

Student: Didn’t pick up

Dave: Ah. Shame. Give it a few hours then we’ll start texting again.

Student: She wrote: “I’m finishing up some work right now can I call you in a bit?”

Student: And I’m going to play basketball and get lunch.

Dave: You can leave it alone and we’ll re-assess after lunch

Student: OK ty

Student: OK should I txt her?

Dave: Yea. Tell her you got finished playing bball and can call her when she’s available.

Student: Hey, so she called me and I’m picking her up at 7!

I love this example because it demonstrates the students fear of’ making ‘the wrong move’, which forces him to be like every other guy. Most guys bore her to death, they stay in a very small area of behavior, all of it predictable. We want to be different, we want to be a challenge.

The final thing I want to say about content is to keep it brief, if you can say it in one or two words then do that. Writing long messages shows you’re more invested then she is. KISS – Keep It Simple Silly.

Text Openers

As promised, here are a list of simple openers you can use to get a girl texting you, credit given where credit is due:

  1. I just met your twin… (Credit Savoy)
  2. I found a rose on my doorstep… you?
  3. The police are looking for a handsome guy and a retard… They got me, grab your crayons and run!
  4. This is your phone company, the vibrate function is not meant to be used the that.
  5. I just want you to know, I used to be modest… but now I’ve worked on it, I’m perfect.

These five should start things going and if you have any of your own good ones then please leave them in the comments below, we’d love to share and grow our list of awesome messages and stop men from fearing the texts ever again.

Dates or Day 2’s!

Remember that the goal is to see her in person, always text and move things forward from that perspective. Whenever you aren’t sure how to proceed remember you want to meet up with her. Think what would bring you closer to that goal and never send a lame text, you have no reason to. If it takes hours to come up with a great text then wait the three hours.

You’ll get a lot more dates that way.

* I know infield that girls get dragged away, or have to leave, but these should be the exceptions, not the rule.

+ Seddit does have a list of good text game resources HERE